Morbid desires

Carrying the weight of my lifeless life
I drag myself from dark grooves of pain,
Will my morbid desire will see the ray of light tommorow ,
Or just go lifeless once again.
Or would it die the death of unnoticed begger on roadside,
Or would it let me get assaulted ,
Taking away my pride.
Half assured n half hopeless,
I wait for each morning,
But dissapointing  night surrounds me once more,
Without any warning.
Awared that with each passing day
My desire going feeble,
With age on crossroads ,
My courage dwindling,
I better surrender, cant be a rebel.
Accepting the defeat or say given up to fate, without any remorse,
Surrendered half heartedly,
to so called God's Will,
Devoid of any life force .